Play it again, Mama: Made to Love

(Originally posted 2/08)

The dream is fading, now I'm staring at the door

I know it's over cause my feet have hit the cold floor

Check my reflection, I  ain't feelin' what I see

It's no mystery

Whatever happened to a passion I could live for

What became of the flame that made me feel more

And when did I forget that...

I was made to love you

I was made to find you

I was made just for you

Made to adore you

I was made to love

And be loved by you

You were here before me

You were waiting on me

And you said you'd keep me

Never would you leave me

I was made to love 

And be loved by you

The dream's alive with my eyes opened wide

Back in the ring you've got me swinging for the grand prize

I feel the haters spittin vapor on my dreams

But I still believe

I'm reachin out, reachin, up, reachin over

I feel a breeze cover me called Jehovah

And Daddy I'm on my way

"Cause I was made to love...

I was made to love you

I made to find you

I was made just for you

Made to adore you

I was made to love

And be loved by you

You were here before me

You were waiting on me

And you said you'd keep me

Never would you leave me

I was made to love

And be loved by you

(Partial lyrics to "Made to Love" by TobyMac)

I've had this song playing on my "My Space" page for about a week and I'd really caught in my head.  It has a great tune and gets my toes tapping.  It's a new favorite.  

What does it mean to be "made to love?"  If you're anything like me, the day in and day out of being a mommy can become quite monotonous.  Especially with a two year old.  I find myself not "loving" in the tasks that seem to drag on: potty training, dishes, laundry, making dinner.  But this song has been a faithful reminder that even in those things, I am to be showing my love to my husband, my son, my daughter, and those I invite into my home.  I wasn't made for these "tasks", but rather to love those around me.  So how am I showing that when the household chores are piling up and my patience is at its end?  And where do I draw that love from to get me through the day?

As I write this, my son is screaming in time out.  And why did he go there?  Because we love him and want what's best for him.  And how will be continue to love him through these turbulent years of toddlerhood?  By drawing on the source of love, Jesus.  

So as you go throughout your days, remember that you were made to love those around you.  And if that means having a two year old help you with dinner, and cleaning the inevetable mess that will accompany it, embrace it.  And draw that love from the one source that can continue to supply it even when you think it's at its end. 

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Fourteen

Read previous posts in this series by checking out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, and, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve and Part Thirteen.

As I write the final post in their series, my three year is rallying a major war in the time-out corner, trying everything he can to push my buttons. There are days he succeeds, and days he doesn't. Let's hope today is a good day.

I pray that through this series, you've been as encouraged as I have. To take a look at yourself. To take a look at your parenting style. To remember that we can only accomplish these things as we continue to focus on the Lord and become the parents that He would have us be.

Remember that this is a short season in your life. No matter where your children are, toddlers or teenagers, this too shall pass. And what impression will you have left on them?

"In all things will I remember that more is caught than is taught."

Praying for you today,
Lee

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Thirteen

Read previous posts in this series by checking out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, and, Part Ten, Part Eleven and Part Twelve.

"I will not require of my children obedience, honesty, patience, or kindness without first being willing to submit to the same rules whether in speed limit, in miscounted change from the grocery store or when answering a toddler for the fourteenth time, for by this my children will see a mother who is also learning and not a perfect parent to whom they'll never measure up."

This is quite a moment of reflection. How many times have we asked things of our children that we're not willing to do ourselves? My own personal conviction has been in the area of kindness lately. It's too easy to forget that my children are young. Not to allow inappropriate behavior in them, but to remember that what appears as disobedience is sometimes simply ignorance. And while the consequences of their behavior may be warranted, comforting and walking them through the situation is still necessary in displaying kindness.

I'm sure my children have seen in the last few weeks that their mommy is still learning. However, open and honest communication is still necessary for them to learn how we think through situations and learn from them. Fully showing them, when age appropriate, how Mommy is growing while benefit them in multiple ways.

"Lord grow my character that I may more accurately display who you are to my children. May I continue to face challenges in my growth, not only for my benefit, but theirs as well."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Twelve

Read previous posts in this series by checking out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, and, Part Ten and Part Eleven.

"I will by my actions and my speech let my children see a mom love their dad, for by this will my children sense family stability at a time when marriages all around them are crumbling."

I have to chuckle at God's timing. This same topic was the focus of my MOPS group this morning. How to keep your marriage strong. Why it's your responsibility to keep it strong.

I must admit that when people start telling women what to do to make their marriage affair proof, I'm the first to stand up and question why the women always get these "lectures." However, the Lord was revealing something else to me today in that conversation. He began to show me that although I'm right in recognizing that it's not a two sided issue, I can, and should, be doing my part to strengthen this relationship any way I can. Although my husband shares in this responsibility, that doesn't release me from putting my 100% effort in as well.

So in a sense, how dare I blame him for not recognize my unspoken needs. How dare I demand more. If I were truly loving my husband, my response wouldn't be more demands.

Now, I'm not saying all wives should be doormats. Rather, we should continually be working on our communication and lovingly strive to better ourselves and our relationship for everyone involved: husband, kids, and us.

I see how reassuring it is to my kids when my husband and I are moving insinc with one another. There are times when we will embrace in the kitchen, just to hold one another. And when my kids see that, their faces light up. Both the 3 year old and the 1 year old come running to be a part of our hug. They instantaneously know that's a safe place to receive love. It's innate in them. They recognize it and embrace it.

My marriage is far from perfect. There are fights and annoyances. But we are careful to express love between us in front of the kids. Through this they have seen a marriage built on commitment and a mutual respect and honor for a living God.

"Lord, remind me to place my marriage above myself. Remind me that cherishing it and nurturing it is far more important even than the things that I'm "doing for the kids." By cherishing this relationship I'm giving to them a gift that is far above many of the tasks that I allow to rob my time."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Eleven

This is a picture of Big Boy and some friends at a birthday party last month.


Read previous posts in this series by checking out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, and Part Ten.

"I will make our home a haven of rest and retreat from the outside world and a welcomed place for my children's friends, for with each impromptu backyard soccer game, each video viewed on a rainy day, each cup of hot cocoa or chocolate chip cookie, my children will have opportunity to practice the art of Christian hospitality thereby learning to share all God has given them."

This part is my favorite. So far. :-) I often think of what it will be like when my kids get older and pray that it will be our house that they spend time at. And pray that the Lord will expand our budget to feed a group of teenage boys.

While I know that I can keep my kids from spending time in less desirable places, I pray that they want to spend time in our home. That they feel it's a safe place to bring their friends. That their friends also recognize it as a safe place to be.

I'm reminded daily that time is short. They are growing all too quickly. So I pray for more patience, more calmness to sit down and listen, more peace to hear what they're really trying to say. I'm reminded to first make our home a place of retreat to them. A place that displays Christ's love so that they may welcome others into it.

Our book club reading has done wonders for enlarging my view of biblical hospitality. It's all about displaying the character of Christ. When there was a need, there He was. And there is a need in our world for Godly homes to open their doors to a hurting society. What better way to serve our kids and the world than to equip them to open their doors and lives, thereby expanding our reach even after they leave home.

"Lord, may my home always be a place of refuge. First, for my husband. Then for my children. Then for the world. May I be reminded to include them when preparing moments of hospitality. And may I remember that their generation has one of the greatest needs for it. Show me how I can make my home a safe place for these kids, both now and as they grow older. And may I never groan about a couple of extra mouths at the dinner table."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Ten

Read previous posts in this series by checking out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, and Part Nine.

"I will make time for the lonely, the sick, the elderly, the difficult to love, and will bring my children along, for with every afternoon visit, each ride to the doctor, each raked lawn or washed window they will have opportunity to serve Jesus by serving the "least of these."

With a three year old and a one year old being my ministry at this time in my life, there's not a lot of opportunity for ministering outside of the home. Spending time with the lonely, the sick and the elderly can be difficult to accomplish if I'm looking through the lens of my pre-baby life. Reading our current book club book has been valuable in realigning my thinking. Whether it's a cup of afternoon tea with an elderly neighbor, a phone conversation with a friend in the hospital, or a quick chat at the mailbox, these are easy ways to witness to my children.

Simple things speak volumes to our children. Big Boy loves to help so whether it be stocking cabinets in the nursery or taking a meal to a friend, he loves to be involved. We try to take him along no matter what we're doing. So these easy ways to show him how God uses us in our community, in other lives.

One thing that's been essential to us has been to speak candidly with him. Instead of brushing him off, we welcome the questions of "Why?:" "Why are we letting Miss Jenni borrow our car?" "Why are we taking this family a meal?" "Why are we running some errands for the Smith Family?" With each conversation, we are able to open up new avenues of how God is working in our lives, how he asks us to take care of each other, how we are called to love as Christ loved.

"Father remind me to parent my whole child, parent him spritually and emotionally. Remind me that my children are watching, that the world is hurting, and that it takes some creativity to balance the two. Give me wisdom in ministering while not neglecting my family."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Nine

Read previous posts in this series by checking out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, and Part Eight.

"I will teach my children the importance of cleanliness and order while at the same time remain sensitive to the fact that a skinned knee or hurt feeling is more crucial than a spotless floor or uncluttered counter, for by this my children will learn to value people above things."

Sometimes being a parent is a hard balance. Sometimes it's hard to see what was an accident and what was pummeling a sibling on purpose. I know I've made those mistakes countless times. Sometimes a glimmer in the eyes will give it away, and other times it won't.

Sometimes it's hard to see what was being three years old and what was carelessness. How do you find the balance of teaching a little one and yet allowing them to reap the consequences of their actions? When do you hand them the towel to clean up and when do you recognize that their childhood is already fleeting?

One of the greatest examples of this for me has been cooking and baking with my three year old. Now at this point, I only have one that is willing or capable of helping me in the kitchen. Thank you, Lord! Big Boy is a "BIG HELP" and a "BIG MESS MAKER." I love having him in the kitchen with me, but boy is it a challenge. I find myself cringing each time he asks to help, or make cookies. And more often times than not, I'm too quick to say no.

But every once in awhile, if I'm really sensitive to what's going on, I realize that my saying no is really an indication of my own selfishness. It's quicker and easier, and definately cleaner, for me to do it myself. There are some days that I'd rather do it my way and get it done. But then I realize that my life isn't about me. It stopped being about me when I accepted Christ, and took an even bigger leap when I became a mom. And my own selfishness needs to take a back seat to modeling for my children and spending time with them.

I'm by no means perfect in this area. There are still mountains to climb and messes to clean up. But when I feel my blood start to boil, I need to check my own attitude and determine what's reasonable and what's selfish.

"Lord, may I learn to value my children above all else, realizing that they learn the value of people from me. Give me a heart for my family, a heart for my community, and a heart for your children. May I always value people about things, time, and my own selfish motives and desires."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Eight

For earlier sections of this series, check out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, and Part Seven.


"When my children have witnessed something ugly in me- unkind words, an angry temper, "harmless" gossip, biting sarcasm, or even my infamous "mommy pout" when things don't go my way- I will confess it as sin before seeking their forgiveness, for by this my children will develop the much needed habit of wiping their spiritual slate clean before God and man."

We live in a society that tends to look down on confession. It seems we view it as a sign of weakness. And so we are very careful to hide our mistakes, or belittle our wrongdoings. We say, "Oh, it's not a big deal" or "It's only harmless gossip" or "I can't be held responsible for that." It's rare that people confess, especially to their children.

How often I've had to apologize to my kids for being sarcastic or at a loss for patience or just plain "ugly." It's very humbling. I never want to do it, but then I remember that I don't model it for them, who will? If I'm not willing to confess it as sin and ask for forgiveness, what type of people will I be raising?

"Lord, make me quick to call my sin out, even in front of my kids. Maybe I remember that little eyes are watching, and little ears are listening. Remind me that my every action models for them an attitude of self-reliance or total dependence on You. And may my actions always speak louder than my words."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Seven

If you're just joining us for this series, check out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, and Part Six.

"When normal childhood mishaps occur, I will remember that although difficult, it is easier to remove grape juice from off-white carpet than to erase harsh and unloving words hurled at a child whose chubby little fingers have failed her, for by this my children will see a God who understands when our best efforts fall short."

How often in a day am I guilty of this? But how I didn't even realize it.

I was recently sitting in a MOPS meeting, listening to a Dad's panel talk about their views on parenting and marriage. When one of the guys said something that I'll never forget. He quoted the scripture from Ephesians 6:4--
"Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
He talked about how disciplining our children for mistakes is contrary to God's word. Those are teachable moments, whether it be to teach about sitting at the table with that grape juice or teaching God's mercy in those situations. If we're not showing our kids what we expect of them, how can we fault them?

Big Boy's favorite movie right now is Veggie Tale's Jonah. I love the music on that video. The lesson focuses on God giving second chances. Jonah made a mistake and yet in God's mercy he was spared. If Jonah can run away from God, how much more mercy can we extend to our children when they small mistakes in the light of eternity?

One of the things that my husband and I believe is important to pass on to our children is their inability to accomplish anything outside of God's will and provision. With our belief, how can we not also teach them of a God who accepts us "when our best efforts fall short?"

"Lord, help me to catch my tongue when my children make mistakes. Help me to turn away from sharp words, angry tones, and rough manners. Remind me that they are only young for a time, and that things are fixable, clothes are washable, and that's what nap time is for. Show me the great mercy you've given me so that I may in turn lavish more upon them."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Six

If your just joining us for this series, check out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.

"When bad things happen, I'll neither grumble nor complain, but will instead help my children see that in the scope of our lives even the bad times are allowed for a reason, for by this my children will learn quiet trust in their Maker."

I've really struggled with writing this post today. So much so that I almost gave up and put if off until next week. "Who would mind if I just put it off a few days?" "Everyone would certainly understand that it's been a busy couple of days in our house." "I'm tired and can give this more attention when I'm fresh in the morning."

But the truth is, beyond all the reasoning and justifying, I don't like this section of "Real Resolutions." It's something that I'd rather not address in my own life. And certainly addressing it in my own life is something that has to be done before I can model it for my kids.

Who is this person to tell me that I shouldn't grumble or complain? What do they know about my life? Sometimes grumbling or complaining is justifiable. Or so we make it seem.

But when I step back, I realize she's probably just a woman like me, just trying to make it by every day, hoping to survive motherhood.

How much of my life is marked by complaining? Even in the little things. Dinners not quite the way I expected it to turn out. The company is late. The toys are picked up the way I like them. My husband forgot something at the store. His Christmas bonus isn't what we expected. The electric bill went up, the insurance hasn't kicked in, the dentist appointment is coming up.

If I was really honest with myself, how much of my grumbling or complaining stems from my own lack of trust?

And even when I don't complain, how often do I turn to the Lord in prayer? Or how often do I pout?

"Lord, I'm shocked and saddened by my own lack of trust in you. I'm marked with complaining over the little things, grumbling over the big things, and lost in my own disbelief. Forgive me of my independence. Heal me of my insecurities. May I walk in the knowledge that you... "cause(s) all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). Heal me first that I may model health, belief, and "silent trust" for my children."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Five

If you're just joining us in this series, be sure to read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4 as well.

"I will erase the words "luck" and "lucky" from my vocabulary and will instead by my speech point my children toward the One orchestrates every detail of our lives and brings all good things to pass, for by this my children will learn of an omniscient God."

This section for me reminds me a lot of what we already talked about in Part 3. I've never been one to toss around the word "lucky" much. Maybe in reference to my son when he's "lucky" he hasn't hurt himself jumping off something. But "luck" has never been something that we've thought about much in our lives. In fact, before reading this, I probably haven't thought about luck in months.

Just for example, we were driving to a friend's house the other day to have a playdate with some gals and their kids. I just had Big Boy with me and we were having a great time chatting away. As I was driving along, I noticed a car up ahead that didn't seem to be paying much attention. I began to wonder if the other driver was going to pull out in front of me. Sure enough, right as I was about next to her, the driver pulled out from another road and almost straight into us. Even after the fact, I don't think she had a clue that we were there.

As Big Boy saw me swerving and fumbling for the horn, he asked afterward what I was doing. It would have so easy to just remark about how lucky we were to have not been hit. But instead, we were able to have a deep conversation about how God was watching over us and kept us safe. We talked about how he loves us and protects us, even in scary situations.

Despite the lengthy conversation and my somewhat frustration over having to keep explaining a concept that was fundamental to me, I was blessed with the opportunity to share with my son that God is interested in the details of our lives. Even something as mundane and routine as a trip to a friend's house.

"Lord, remind me to point you out in the routine moments of life. Remind me to "point you out" to my children in the moments of fear as well as the moments of blessing. May they always see that every good and perfect gift comes from you."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Four

In continuing with our Real Resolutions for Moms (part 2, part 3), we're continuing to delve into the idea of prayer.

"When times of crisis, conflict or confusion arise, I will hit my knees before I hit the phone knowing that by my example my children will discover that although friends are important, God alone is the one who holds the solution to life's every problem."

As relational creatures, God has designed us to grow and learn from each other. Friends are a true blessing and community is the model of who God is. I am continually blessed by the friends that God has brought into my life.

However, friendship crosses the line when we come to rely on our friends to fill a place that was only designed to be filled by God.

Did you hear that? There is a place in our lives specifically orientated to only be filled by God. Only God.

So when problems arise, where do you turn first? To those friends who are a great blessing, or to the only one who has all the answers?

This was recently illustrated for us on our trip to my mom's over New Years. As we were traveling and having car trouble, I spoke up and asked Big Boy to pray with me. We prayed that our car would hold up, that we would be safe, and that we would find a mechanic to help us out. As we were in the middle of nowhere, with no cell service, we had no one to call on, but the Lord. The further I drove, the more I knew we'd have to stop. But all the more sure I became that the Lord was truly with us. Best thing, I was able to demonstrate to my kids that our only true and ultimate hope could be found in God.

"Lord, remind me that you are our ultimate hope. Bring me to my knees before you in every moment. May I demonstrate community to my children, but only after I've brought my requests to you in prayer. May this be something that I don't do only on the occasions that my children are watching, but on every occasion."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Three

In continuing to think about the Real Resolutions for Moms, (check out Part 2 here), that we've been unpacking, this next one couldn't come at a better time.

"I will make my prayer requests known before God and my children, enlisting their help in the process and informing them of the outcome, for by letting them help when I petition our Lord will they learn of a living God who still answers prayer."

Each night I lay in Big Boy's bed with him after he's been tucked in and is getting ready to sleep. We start with the question, "What do you want to tell God tonight?" I've been trying to teach him that prayer is nothing more than just talking to God, telling him what Big Boy thinks and feels, what made an impression on him in the day. Then I give him the option of me or him praying, or both of us praying. Usually he opts for Mommy to pray, but once in awhile he'll pray and it's so refreshing to hear how innocent and real his prayers are.

For the past couple of weeks, we've been praying for one of his good friend's dad to get a job as well as our Daddy to get a job. Every night for about 6 weeks, we've faithfully prayed for both Daddy's to find good jobs. This afternoon, I received a phone call from our friends letting us know that our prayers had been answered and a job was offered and accepted yesterday. Additionally, my husband had a great interview yesterday and we're patiently awaiting what's going to happen in that situation. I can't wait to pray with Big Boy tonight and tell him the outcome of our prayers.

"Lord, may I continue to disciple my children in seeking your face. Remind me to include them in our prayers so they can see that your truly hear and answer us. May I never think that prayer should just be instinctual, but rather remember that it's taught. Remind me to keep it applicable and relevant. And keep us mindful to thank you when you answer us."

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Two

I was thinking on the Real Resolutions for Moms that I posted a few weeks ago (you can read them in their entirety here). How easy it is to start the year with good intentions and make resolutions that last for but a moments. It's hard to make resolutions that will have lasting impact on our families and harder still to follow with those resolutions. I often find myself having a hard time changing my character for a day, let alone a lifetime. How many times a day do I find myself repenting to God and my children, only to make the same mistake five minutes later? So it with that thought that I embark upon a journey to make real changes in my family, in myself.

"I will put my Bible before the television, the radio, the telephone, and even before good Christian books, for my children will know my priorities by the way they see me spending my free time."

Now I know what you're thinking: What free time? Believe me I understand. With a 3 year old and a 1 year old, my life feels like it's in constant motion. This one has gym class, that one has a birthday party to attend, plus there's naps to fit in, laundry to fold, dinner to be made, and a spouse that's craving your undivided time and attention.

But if we were really honest with ourselves, we'd find that we do daily find ourselves with some free time. Maybe the kids are playing together especially well for a few minutes. Maybe dinners in the crockpot and the baby's taking a longer nap than usual. Or maybe your husband is playing with the kids after helping clean up the kitchen.

And you find yourself on the couch.

And you're flipping channels. Or if you're me, you're checking to see who updated your favorite blogs. Or who posted new pictures of their kids on facebook.

But what could you be doing? Or could you do that later after you're spent some time with God? Could those things wait? Could the dishes wait? Could the dog wait? Do the clothes have to be folded that minute?

So practically speaking, what does that look like? Could it be my Bible be sitting on the end table in the living room? Could I be reading it as they get up in the morning for breakfast? What about a post-it on the TV, television, or computer reminding me to spend time in the word? How will I structure my life to show my children my priorities?

I'm gonna start by getting off the computer right now.

"Lord, help me to find the hidden moments in the day were I can meet with you. May I not do in a "showy" way, but remember that you are the greatest relationship in my life and the one that I most want to pass on to my children. Amen."

Real Resolutions for Moms

I found this posted somewhere last spring and have loved it ever since. I'll often times find myself coming back to it, remembering what really matters in life. Refocusing my priorities. Re-remembering why it is that I do what I do.

Still I find that I don't read it often enough. There still so much more that I can glean from it. So I'd like to start us on a journey of real change, making real choices that will really change our families.

These "Real Resolutions" will become the basis for a series of devotional that I plan to break down and develop over the next couple of months. But for now, here they are in their entirety. Enjoy! And today, as you make your resolutions as so many of us do (including myself), keep these in mind and ask the Lord to speak to you through them.




Real Resolutions for Moms
By Karen Ehman

"... But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:13b-14 (ESV)

Devotion:

It's that time when many of us are making New Year's resolutions, so how about some resolutions for mothers? Here are mine:

I will put my Bible before the television, the radio, the telephone, and even before good Christian books, for my children will know my priorities by the way they see me spend my free time.

I will make my prayer requests known before God and my children, enlisting their help in the process and informing them of the outcome, for by letting them help when I petition our Lord will they learn of a living God who still answers prayer.

When times of crisis, conflict or confusion arise, I will hit my knees before I hit the phone knowing that by my example my children will discover that although friends are important, God alone is the one who holds the solution to life's every problem.

I will erase the words "luck" and "lucky" from my vocabulary and will instead by my speech point my children toward the One who orchestrates every detail of our lives and brings all good things to pass, for by this my children will learn of an omniscient God.

When bad things happen, I'll neither grumble nor complain, but will instead help my children see that in the scope of our lives even the bad times are allowed for a reason, for by this my children will learn quiet trust in their Maker.

When normal childhood mishaps occur, I will remember that although difficult, it is still easier to remove grape juice from off-white carpet than to erase harsh and unloving words hurled at a child whose chubby little fingers have failed her, for by this my children will see a God who understands when our best efforts fall short.

When my children have witnessed something ugly in me - unkind words, an angry temper, "harmless" gossip, biting sarcasm or even my infamous "mommy pout" when things don't go my way - I will confess it as sin before them seeking their forgiveness, for by this my children will develop the much needed habit of wiping their spiritual slate clean before God and man.

I will teach my children the importance of cleanliness and order while at the same time remain sensitive to the fact that a skinned knee or hurt feeling is more crucial than a spotless floor or uncluttered counter, for by this my children will learn to value people above things.

I will make time for the lonely, the sick, the elderly, the difficult to love, and will bring my children along, for with each afternoon visit, each ride to the doctor, each raked lawn or washed window they will have opportunity to serve Jesus by serving the "least of these."

I will make our home a haven of rest and retreat from the outside world and a welcomed place for my children's friends, for with each impromptu backyard soccer game, each video viewed on a rainy day, each cup of hot cocoa or chocolate chip cookie, my children will have opportunity to practice the art of Christian hospitality thereby learning to share all God has given them.

I will by my actions and my speech let my children see a mom love their dad, for by this will my children sense family stability at a time when marriages all around them are crumbling.

I will not require of my children obedience, honesty, patience or kindness without first being willing to submit to the same rules whether in speed limit, in miscounted change from the grocery store or when answering a toddler for the fourteenth time, for by this my children will see a mother who is also learning and not a perfect parent to whom they'll never measure up.

In all things will I remember that more is caught than is taught.

There are little eyes upon you, mom. You are the first Bible your children will ever read.

Simple Living: Part Five

Simple Living this week has focused on us as a family.  With my husband working long hours, apples to can, and wood to stack, the kids and I have found ourselves at home a lot this week.  And as much work as it's been, it's also been refreshing.  It's given me a lot of time to reflect on how happy I am to have them in my life.  

Upon canning applesauce this week, Big Boy (who's almost 3 years old.  Wow!) wanted to be intimately involved in the whole process.  At first I was hesitant to have him in the kitchen with me, but it soon became a joy to have him by my side.  We waited until Baby Girl was down for her morning nap and went to work.  Although he didn't make it through the whole process, it reminded me to slow down and include him in new and unique ways.  Such as counting the apples as we peeled them.  Or talking about how nutritious they are.  Or reminding ourselves what a blessing it is to have been given several pounds of apples.

We opened up new conversation, talking about his favorite part of the week, the family in his life, and the imaginative world that is growing inside his head every day.  And I was reminded of what a unique and special creature he is.  There's no one else in the world like Big Boy; God created him special to be a part of our family.

Baby Girl would get up and join us.  And we were blessed to see that she too is growing in ways that we hadn't realized before.  This week, she started to wave at us.  It's so cute.  She's petite for her age and this little wrist just pops out and starts waving back and forth.  Big Boy and I were hauling and stacking wood while she sat in her exersaucer and waved us on.  While mentally grumbling about all the wood that needed to be taken care of, I stepped back to reflect on what was really happening.  My son, daughter, and I were all spending time together, being outdoors, not spending a dime, and preparing the blessing that God had given us for the winter.  

I also realized what a blessing it was to physically show my children the value of hard work.  That although it was a lot of work to stack the wood for the winter, it was necessary and something that was worth working for.  Although I suspect it will never be something that will consistently be an enjoyable chore, it is one that will be a valuable life lesson for my children.

Our evenings were spent staying up late, waiting for Daddy to come home.  I loosened up on bed time this week, sensing that Big Boy just needed to see Daddy at the end of the day.  It became more about what my children needed than what I needed, which was often an earlier bedtime rather than a later one.  More books were read, more cuddle time was had, and in general, we found greater patience with one another.

I learned a lot this week.  I learned that prayer can be spontaneous and immediate.  I learned that patience can only come from the Lord.  And I learned that some soft worship music in the background of life can go a long way to smoothing over cooped up frustrations.  Simple Living this week just meant being family.  Rediscovering what's going on with each other.  Like the fact that Big Boy really does empathize with his sister.  That Baby Girl loves to be held and gaze into someone else's eyes.  And that I am learning more and more to juggle the two of them.

Although full, this week was simple.  It was about working together as a family to make our family work.  And that was a true blessing.

To learn how others are pursuing simplicity, check out Keeper of the Home and Simple Saturday.

Simple Living: Part Four

Praise the Lord!  We had a much better week.

It never ceases to amaze me how Christianity has such diverse seasons.  And for the season of life that I've been in, spending time with the Lord has proven to be quite a challenge.  Not only has my time been limited by caring for two children, but I've struggled with want to do it all.  Being Super Mom.  Combine those two and it's easy for quiet time to quickly fall on the back burner.  

In spending time in the Bible, I've been reading Psalms.  Nothing earth shaking in there.  Or is there?  I've daily been confronted with how often the author states, "I will put my trust in you." To hear it repeated over and over, I've come to realize my trust often lies so far away from the Lord.  What would it take for me to really trust in Him?  And do I want to know what He would do to make me that desperate for Him?

My prayer time has flourished.  I've made a conscious effort to "pray without ceasing" (I Thess. 5:17).  And I've noticed how my relationship with my kids has improved.  Our days run smoother.  Our conversations are deeper.  And our interactions are gentler.  My time with them is more enjoyable.  

Additionally, I find myself turning to God more in prayer than trying to come up with a solution on my own.  When a problem arises, my quick "breath" prayers are my first reaction.  And when it's been awhile since I've said one in my day, I miss those quick moments of interaction with the Lord.

As far as living a lifestyle of worship, I still have a lot to learn.  Taking every thought captive is much easier said than done.  At this point, it take such conscious effort to think through every action and reaction.  But I can already see little changes.

There were a couple of times this week that I stepped back from the situation and thought, "If not for a growing relationship with Christ, I could be very frustrated in this moment.  But instead here I am enjoying the antics of my kids."  Allowing God to change my attitude and my perception of the situation, to see the joy, was truly a blessing.

Although we still had things to do this evening, I would characterize our time tonight as "simple."  I was making dinner with the kids while I was waiting for my husband to arrive home.  Baby Girl was cranky and wanted to be held while Big Boy was jealous and wanted the same thing.  But instead of brushing them off to find activities out of the kitchen, we simply embraced the moment and sang and talked about letters and shared our day.

After dinner, we all went to the grocery store to pick up a few groceries and items for canning.  There was no clock telling us to hurry home and no one was rushing before work.  Instead, there was an attitude of carefreeness that accompanied us as we enjoyed our time together.  It was simply living in the moment.  Forgetting the to do list and embracing the relationships around us.

Sometimes I think that must be the real key to simple living: focusing on discipleship rather than everything else that vies for our time.  This even includes the good things, such a frugal living, homemaking, and ministries in the church.  If we're not investing in people, then what's the point?

As this next week approaches, I'm keeping my eye on meeting with the Lord on a consistent basis, but also on the other relationships in my life: my husband, my kids, and those I'm discipling.  As I pursue Simple Living, it continue to realize that it's a struggle not only against the things that vie for our attention, but also a struggle against ourselves.  That inner urge to be in control and not allow the Lord to mold our desire and directions.

To see how others are pursuing Simple Living, check out Passionate Homemaking and Simple Living Saturday.

 

Simple Living: Part Three

On my last post, I boiled Simple Living down to 4 things:

1. My relationship with God
2. My relationship with my husband
3. My relationship with my kids
4. Discipling others

I was shocked by how simple it could all become.  And I vowed to take the next week to focus on my relationship with God.  To live a life of Scripture, prayer, and worship.  To take every thought captive as it applied to this relationship.

Guess what?

I failed miserably.  I realized that my life doesn't revolve around the one thing that I would say it should.  I've treated my relationship with God as an add on.  Something I'll get around to at the end of the day if I have enough time and energy.  Something that's disposable.

Wow!  Not that it came as a complete shock, but it's still hard to swallow when you're confronted with such black and white truth.  How can something so simple be... not so simple?  

So I pick myself up and try again.  Isn't that what a Christian walk is all about?  Trying again?  That and discipline.  So discipline, discipline, discipline.  That's the mantra that's running through my head this week.

I'm rededicating myself to pursuing that relationship:

• Taking time each day to spend with the Lord-- Even 5 minutes a day, spending time in the word,.. that's such a wonderful place to meet with the Lord.  And by meeting with him each day, I am a better wife, a better mother, and a better woman.
• Praying throughout the day-- Remembering to pray as I go about my day, praying about how I handle time outs, or how I show my relationship to God in practical ways to my children
• Living a life of worship-- Taking every thought captive till my life is a reflection of worshipping the Lord.  How do I treat others throughout the day?  Is my attitude and lifestyle conducive to worshipping the Lord?

So here we go again.  My prayer is that this week, again, my life will be redirected down a simpler path.  One that is glorifying to the Lord.  What better place to start a simple life.

To see how others are simplifying their lives, check out Passionate Homemaking.

Simple Living: Part Two

What is Simple Living?

As I contemplated this question this week, I was struck by how "complex" the question actually is.  In order for simple living to be genuine, it must encompass all of life.  And life is complex.  Truly living a simple life means taking a complete inventory of one's values and goals, dreams and ambitions, thoughts and words.  And not only taking an inventory of them, but taking every thought captive.  Determining whether each thought, each dream, each "duty" will contribute to the simple life we say we desire.

For me, this means starting with evaluating my values.  What is important to me?  Why do I seek a simple life?  How will I know if I'm living a deeply simple life?

So what's important to me?

• My relationship with God- so how is my devotional life?
• My relationship with my husband- so what do I allow to interfere with our time together?
• My relationship with my kids- so what is the quality of the time I spend with them?
• Discipling others- who am I inviting into my life?

And somehow that's where my list ended.  Could I really boil my life down to these four things? I'm not saying that because there's only four things, that it's SOOOO easy.  Rather on the contrary, it still remains quite complex.  However, this gives me a jumping off point to begin in evaluating the choices I make every day, down to how much time I spend cleaning vs how much time I spend with my kids.  

I'm not saying that this list couldn't be longer.  Or that there's not other things to include that wouldn't be absolutely valid.  But for now this is my list.  Every decision I make should be made on the basis of whether or not it will enhance on of these areas of my life.

So for this week, I'm focusing on the quality of relationship with God.  How am I making time to enhance the most important relationship of my life?  Even this comes down to some very simple issues:

• Praying throughout the day, whether doing housework, playing with the kids, or making a meal
• Living a life of worship, whether in my conversations with others, in worshiping in song, or memorizing Scripture
• Taking time each day, even 5 minutes, to meet with the Lord in Scripture, hearing his words as they are still applicable today

To see how others are simplifying their lives, check out Keeper of the Home.

Simple Living: Part One

Simple Living... is it possible in today's world?

It seems like everywhere I turn these days, people are talking about simple living, reducing possessions, focusing on "what's important."  I, too, must admit that this is something that's weighed on my mind lately.  I waver between my seeking simplicity and weighing my Type-A tendencies.  What is valid and what needs to go?

Before I begin this journey, I think it would be helpful to examine where I've been.  Our family is very blessed.  Although we've had our share of dead end jobs, crazy moves, and the occasional bad emotional investments, we've sought frugality and learned new ways to penny pinch.  We've kept an eye on our finances and, for the most part, made wise decisions.  

The area of our lives that is not so simple is our time.  Now I'm not talking about an expanse of time, but rather a structuring of time.  Many of the things that we believe in are going to require more time than we're ever likely to have.  Serving on the church staff will always require our attention 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week.  Being a mom will always require our attention 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week.  Being a wife, a daughter, a friend will always require our attention 24 hours a day/ 7 days a week.  But what does all of that really mean?

This is hitting me more and more lately as I want health for my children.  Actually I want a lot for my children.  I want them to have a great education.  I want them to be socially well-adjusted.  I want them to know Christ as their softest place to fall.  I want them to have every opportunity to pursue every challenge that intrigues them.  But if I don't find balance and help them understand balance, what will they have learned?

So join me in this journey toward "Simplicity."  Perhaps somewhere along the way we'll begin to understand what it actually is and how to make it a part of our lives.  If it's even possible to make it a part of our lives.  Where do we begin?  What are we reaching to achieve?  

To read how others are pursuing simplicity, be sure to read some of the posts at Keeper of the Home.