While You're Waiting: Find Your Worth

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

Find your worth in the Lord; you don't need anything else.  You were created for a purpose with a plan for your life.  And you can search your whole life for that purpose. 

Or...

you can run after the Lord and allow him to unfold that purpose in his time.

Allow him to woo you.  Let him delight in you.  Know that your worth is found in being his and his only.  He lights up when you come to him.  He loves spending time with you and hearing what your thoughts.  The highlight of his day is being with you.  

You're not only worthy of his time, he waits for you.  

You are so worth his time that he'll wait for you.

Know that you are his and nothing can shake your worth.

While You're Waiting: Learn to Use a Fire Extinguisher

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

Ok, yeah, this sounds like a funny one, but I spent years not knowing how to use a fire extinguisher.  It wasn't until we became foster parents that it became a priority in our household.  Now, I can't imagine why it took me so long to learn.  

It's not rocket science, but in an emergency, we all start to panic.  So make sure you review and know the steps.  Hopefully you don't ever have to use one, but I'd rather you know how, just in case.

1. Pull the pin.  This releases the locking mechanism and allows you to use the fire extinguisher.

2. Aim at the base of the flames.  This will extinguish the fuel.

3. Squeeze the leaver slowly.  When you release, it will stop the flow of the extinguisher.

4.  Sweep the extinguisher from side to side, only moving closer to the fire as it dies down.

Again, I pray that you never have to use one, but in case you do, be prepared.  It's a simple precaution.  

While You're Waiting: Learn Car Maintanence

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

You know all my horror stories.  I've been stranded and had to flag down help.  Haven't always done a good job of maintaining my cars.  Haven't always known how to maintain my cars or really cared for that matter and it's landed me in some sticky situations.  

I don't want that for you.  Although there's absolutely nothing wrong with asking for help, I want you to be in a situation where you can feel empowered and confident about helping yourself when help is needed.  So in light of all that, these are just a few things Dad and I want to pass down to you:

Know how to check your tire pressure--This is a great way of being able to prolong the life of your tires, saving you time, hassle and money in the long run.

Know how to change a tire--Again, something I learned too late in life.  Know where your spare tire is, how to change your tires, and where to purchase new ones.

Know how to check the oil--Things go wrong and sometimes it can't be helped.  But keeping your oil maintained will drastically prolong the life your car.

Know how to use jumper cables--Just because you find someone with jumper cables to help you, doesn't mean they'll know how to use them either.  Know where they attach, in what order, and how long to charge your car.

We love you and think that all these details are important.  So if you're ready to drive, you're ready to take this on as well.  If you ever have any questions, we're here to help you.

While You're Waiting: Relationships with Family

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

I love the family that the Lord has blessed us with.  We are loud, noisy, fun, full of life, and love each other to the ends of the earth.  Did you catch that last part?  We love each other to the ends of the earth.  I know, we all get frustrated with each other once in a while.  We all need our space and we don't always agree.  But we do love each other.  There's no one who will be there for you through everything like your family.  

The truth is it takes a lot of work to stay close as you grow older.  People move, life gets busy, and time just marches on.  I guess if I could say anything to you about your family it would be to invest in our relationships while you still have lots of time.  Take the opportunity you have to spend time together.  Initiate conversation.  Go places together.  Speak the truth in love.  Laugh together.  Look for the good in each other.  Build a solid foundation of relationship.  One day you'll look back and wonder where the time has gone.  Now is your chance to build a strong relationship with your family that will carry you through when life gets crazy.

And don't just let this be for your single years.  My prayer is that your family relationships will continue to grow and blossom all throughout your life.  Your siblings will always be here, so invest in those relationships and grow them with love.  I will continue to pray that you each respect each other and desire a close relationship with each other.  Enjoy this unique relationship that you've been gifted with.  All my love to you...

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While You're Waiting: Make Peace with Imperfection

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

This is sums up a bit of what I want to pass on to you.  Avoid the original version and stick with this one.  But take it to heart.  None of us are perfect.

While You're Waiting: Travel

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

And if you're 32 and have some freedom... travel!

And if you're 42 and celebrating an anniversary... travel!

And if you're 62, retired, and empty-nesters... travel!

While You're Waiting: Choose your friendships wisely

Our world today is filled with billions of people.  Take a second and allow that to sink in. BILLIONS!

There are individuals populating our world from every walk of life.  Every background, every family structure, every interest, striving toward hundreds of different dreams.  We are a global society of diversity and connected by the human need to be known.

And I know you share in that need as well.

While you're growing up, and into your adulthood years, I would encourage you to choose your friendships wisely.  There will be those acquaintances who will appear exciting and interesting, but when you look deeper, you may find that the heart issues they struggle with aren't compatible with who you want to become.  I'm not saying to shun them.  Love them.  But choose your heart friends with good judgment and discretion.  

Your heart friends will influence you either in a forward direction or they can hold you back from becoming who you were meant to be.  When you open the deep recesses of who you are, you're opening yourself up in a very intimate way.  Choose friendships that will love, value, and cherish you in the way that your Father and I do.  In the way that your Heavenly Father does.  Choose friendships that will grow you in humility, gentleness, and joy.  These are the characteristics that you want to display.

As you walk through this life, I'll be praying that the Lord brings you good friends, true friends.  Friends that will walk with you through all the joys and trials that this world offers.  And I know He will.  But it's up to you to prayerfully consider the opportunities that are laid before you.  And to listen to His voice as you choose wisely.

I know you will.  And I'm so proud of the woman you are becoming.

While You're Waiting: Creating Home

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

I love creating home.  From the earliest years of marriage to your growing up years, I have found great joy in creating home for our family.  It has truly been a blessing to create an environment we were can come to escape the pressures of the outside world and find refreshment for our souls.

But there's no reason why you should wait until you're married.  Now is the time to create a home for yourself and others in your life that need a safe haven.

As I was attending college and later in my own apartment, I looked for ways to make my living
space more homey.  Some days that meant a boutique.  Other days it meant burning a candle on the table.  There are so many ways you can begin creating a home no matter what stage of life you find yourself in.

-Fill your home with flowers and plants.
-Start with simple furniture and invest as you have time and need.
-Decoate for the holidays.
-Play music.
-Choose curtains, rugs, and accents that make you feel at home.

Begin creating home now and you'll create a haven of peace that will bless everyone around you.

While You're Waiting: Create an Idea Folder

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

If you’re anything like your mom, you’ll find that you have more ideas than you have time to complete.  So while you have the time to yourself, create an idea folder.  It can be as simple as a file with pictures and thoughts.  Or you can paste and write in a journal.  Or keep an online pinboard for your thoughts.

Include meal ideas, crafts you want to try, thoughts on marriage and parenting, or fun ideas for the kids.  Gather places you want to visit, home improvement projects, and books you want to acquire.  This is a great time to pin mission trip ideas and ministry thoughts as well. 

Throughout the years, I’ve hung onto homemade Christmas gift ideas, hospitality meals to try, gak recipes, and reading lists.  I have flyers for marriage retreats and vacations I want to take with your father one day.  There are ideas for porch swings and tablescapes and questions for engaging a new friend.

Keeping an idea folder will spark your own creativity and allow you to work through your thoughts as you have time.  So let your imagination run and put your ideas in practice.  You never know what plans await you.

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While You're Waiting: Practice Cooking

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

It is my goal to have you in the kitchen with me for most of your growing up years.  But as we all know, doing something with Mom looking on isn’t quite the same as doing it on your own.  There’s still a lot of skills to be learned and practiced: time management, organization, and the discipline to cook instead of ordering takeout.  And one day there will be even more pressure at meal time with a husband arriving home from work and children clamoring for your attention.

Your single years are a great time for practice as well as exploration in the kitchen.  While your budget may be limited, your time and creativity are not.  Start with the basics.  Get a few of your favorite recipes from Mom and practice them over and over until you feel confident in sharing them with a few friends.  You may be surprised how much you enjoy cooking for others.

Then try a few hospitality meals.  Are there dishes that you can use to feed a crowd on a budget?  Do you have a few special meals that you reserve for your closest friends?  What about portable meals for blessing others?   Think about the spirit of hospitality.  It’s not about the grandest or the greatest, but rather sharing your best in an attempt to show Jesus’ love to the world.

After you’ve developed a good meal base, now you can start branching out into various areas you’ve always wanted to try.  Do you like Indian food, Thai, Mexican food or Southern hospitality?  Is there a TV chef you’ve wanted to emulate?  Or a local fare you’ve always wanted to make?  You have time to explore.  The world is your plate.  Try something new.  Don’t like it?  Oh, well.  Ordering takeout for one is cheaper than a whole family. 

Enjoy this time you have to practice and discover your cooking style.  There are so many flavors and options to explore; embrace the time you have.

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While You're Waiting: Blessing Parents

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

While you're waiting for marriage, I would encourage you to bless young parents in your community.  When you have young children, every day is full of blessings, but also exhausting challenges.  We love our children.  We want what's best for our children.  But it's a very intensive time of work.  It's such a breath of fresh air to have someone love our children while we need some refreshment.

Blessing parents doesn't have to mean showing up at their house with a 5 day V.B.S. in a box plan.  Blessing parents can be as simple as offering to come over before dinner and keep the kids entertained while mom prepares the evening meal.  Trust me.  Even something as simple as making dinner without interruptions can seem like a vacation.

And there are so many other ways you can be a blessing to young parents:

*Take the kids to the park once a week.

*Volunteer as a MOPS childcare worker.

*Volunteer in the church nursery or Sunday School.

*Offer to watch siblings while one child goes to the dentist.

*Take the kids home for PB&J while Mom & Dad go out to lunch after church.

*Watch the little ones while Mom runs some errands solo.

Don't be afraid to offer your help.  Young parents are so grateful for the help and encouragement that we receive.  You can be a huge blessing to families and learn so much about children.  The relationships you grow in this time will be so fruitful and your ministry will be greatly cherished.  From all young parents, thank you!

While You're Waiting: Find a Hobby

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

Sometimes While You're Waiting, it can become so easy to slip into just ... waiting.  You forget to live your life.  You forget that today is a gift and it doesn't care if you have a spouse standing beside you or not.  Life is simply ready to be enjoyed.

So don't just sit around waiting.  Go out and enjoy your life.  Find out what you enjoy.  What makes you tick?  What do you want to do when there's obligations of life pulling at you?

*Take up a sport.

*Pick up an instrument.

*Write a book.

*Get certified in something you love.

*READ!

*Go hiking.

*Travel.

*Learn a language.

My point is don't just wait for the right one.  Become the right one.  When the Lord brings someone special into your life, that young man will want to know what makes you special.  And you'll be able to show him how you've been living your life, not just wishing the days away.

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While You're Waiting: Keep a Budget

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

My prayer is that as you're growing you will see your parents living within our means.  We may not have the newest and the greatest, but we'll have our needs met and debt will be a dirty word.  Budgeting is the key and my hope is that I have taught you at least the basics before you leave our home.

My encouragement to you would be to keep a budget on your own.  Remember to list your basic needs first: housing, utilities, and food first.  Even things like car insurance can come later as you can always ride the bus if needed.  Don't forget to include your tithe right up front.  Honor the Lord in all you do, even in your finances.  

When you first start out on your own, you will be tempted to apply for a credit card or spend beyond your means.  You will see what others have and may desire the instant gratification that credit brings.  Your peers will be buying on credit, banking on future jobs or raises.  Building your finances is not an instant gratification situation.  Instead, it requires hard work and dedication.  You may find that your budget necessitates that you live off Top Ramen and popsicles.  Believe me, I've been there.  You will survive.

Living off a budget will prepare you for the lean times you will encounter with a family.  It will prepare you by being able to enter your marriage debt free.  Budgeting will enable to make tough, dedicated choices in the future.  And it will teach you to control your money, without it controlling you.

Buying on credit or banking on the future may look like fun now.  But 20-30 years from now, when you are debt free and others are still over paying in interest, or worse yet bankruptcy, you'll find that learning to live on a budget offered you true freedom over your finances.

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While You're Waiting: Invest in Your Community

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

You are surrounded by an awesome community.  There's your neighbors, the school down the street, your church, and your city.  There are so many opportunities for you to jump in and be a part.  You have so many gifts to offer and your community is just waiting for you to participate.

As I look at you, I know that God has given you gifts to bless others.  I see in you a multitude of blessings, character, and ideas.  But this isn't just for you.  All these gifts are yours so that you may be the hands and feet of Jesus in other people's lives.  So be encouraged.  Invest in your community!

Here are just a few ideas to consider:

*Do you like working with kids?  What about volunteering at a local school?  Work in the library, work the after school program, or volunteer to help with a special class once a week. 

*Is there a community group you can be a part of?  How do your neighbors interact?  Volunteer to start a community watch, organize a block party, or offer to do odd jobs.

*Do you have a passion for healthy lifestyle?  There are plenty of opportunities working with organizations who educate on nutrition and exercise.  Whether you enjoy working with children, families, or the elderly, you can put that passion to great use.

*Books get you excited?  What about volunteering at the public library?  What a great way to get into the community and enter into conversation.

*Is there a place in your heart for the sick?  Volunteer at the hospital.  So many families walk in and out of there every day waiting for their loved ones to recover.  You can be a tender heart of understanding and listening.

*Volunteer for an organization like the YMCA or Big Brothers, Big Sisters.  There are thousands of youth out there waiting for a mentor to look up to.  You may not be perfect, but the life experience you've had and the Lord you know is enough to speak into theses children's lives.

Whatever you choose to do, get involved.  There of thousands of people waiting for what you have to offer.  Pray and seek guidance, rely on the Lord's strength, and look for others to serve.  And know that I support you wherever the Lord leads you!

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While You're Waiting: Build Strong Relationships

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

During my college years, I built some of the strongest relationships of my life.  I was on my own, meeting new people, and deciding what I truly believed about God and the world.  I purposefully chose a Christian college so that I could be surrounded with professors of moral character who would challenge me in my beliefs.  And it was during this time that the Lord brought some of my dearest friends into my life to strengthen, encourage, and teach me more that I was even learning in the classroom.

Use your single years to build strong relationships.  Spend time with a variety of people: singles, married couples, the elderly.  Dig deep into their lives.  Gather all you can from the lessons they've learned over the years.  Ask the Lord to use your time together so that you both can grow closer to him.

Build these strong relationships 'cause some day, when you're a wife and a mother, you'll need those who can stand with you, encourage you, and help you to see where the Lord is working.  Don't forsake these relationships when you fall in love.  Your single years will be your best opportunity to nurture them, but don't drop them all together when you find yourself with the one the Lord has prepared for you.

These strong friendships will provide a foundation for many years to come.  They will be a part of your community, the community that will uphold your marriage and speak life into your walk with the Lord.  Use the bountiful time in your single years.  You won't ever regret investing in others and allowing them to invest in you.

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While You're Waiting: Learn to Love

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*Recently I was thinking about all I would want my daughters to know before they get married.  Instead of wishing the days away until they walk down the aisle, how would I encourage them to live?  Living in the joy of who God created.  The practicalities and the dreaming.  What would I want to encourage... While they're waiting?  These are some of those thoughts.

I didn't always wait so patiently.  I've never been a patient person and to compound matters, I'm the most Type A person you'll ever meet.  I had a time line, a plan, a clearly laid out path for my life.  It included knowing my husband through grade school and high school, going to college together, and marrying young.  And in the waiting, patience was not my strong suit.

One of the ways the Lord worked in my impatience was drawing me closer to Him.  My days were free from the responsibilities that would come later.  Looking back, I was given time to just be, just be with Him.  My time was open: prayers with roommates in the morning, a moment to praise between classes, late night bible studies.  And although I didn't value it enough, I look back now and see how that time set the tone for  my learning to love, to fall in love with the Creator.

To this day, when the mornings are hectic and someone needs their shoes tied, I can go back in my mind.  Back to the scriptures that are hidden in my heart.  Back to the silent prayers for peace.  Back to the arms of my Father that are well known.  It's this foundation of faith from which my husband and I can grow together and challenge each other.  It's this foundation of faith from which I can draw when I'm with my kids.  And although I'll never stop learning, the things I learned in my single years are invaluable and remind me how to love.  And how I am loved.

When the world seems upside down and I'm struggling to keep my head above water, I remember the times I was alone with the Lord.  And I can know that He is the most steady and faithful person in my life.  Just as He was when I first learned to fall in love with Him.  When I took the time to open my heart and embrace truth, I knew His love.

While You're Waiting, learn to love the Lord.  Spend time in His presence.  Lean into His unfailing love for you.  Learn to rely on Him.  Seek to embrace the intimacy that you can only know with the Father.

How will you learn to love in your time of waiting?

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