Thursday, February 19, 2009

Real Resolutions for Moms: Part Six

If your just joining us for this series, check out Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, and Part Five.

"When bad things happen, I'll neither grumble nor complain, but will instead help my children see that in the scope of our lives even the bad times are allowed for a reason, for by this my children will learn quiet trust in their Maker."

I've really struggled with writing this post today. So much so that I almost gave up and put if off until next week. "Who would mind if I just put it off a few days?" "Everyone would certainly understand that it's been a busy couple of days in our house." "I'm tired and can give this more attention when I'm fresh in the morning."

But the truth is, beyond all the reasoning and justifying, I don't like this section of "Real Resolutions." It's something that I'd rather not address in my own life. And certainly addressing it in my own life is something that has to be done before I can model it for my kids.

Who is this person to tell me that I shouldn't grumble or complain? What do they know about my life? Sometimes grumbling or complaining is justifiable. Or so we make it seem.

But when I step back, I realize she's probably just a woman like me, just trying to make it by every day, hoping to survive motherhood.

How much of my life is marked by complaining? Even in the little things. Dinners not quite the way I expected it to turn out. The company is late. The toys are picked up the way I like them. My husband forgot something at the store. His Christmas bonus isn't what we expected. The electric bill went up, the insurance hasn't kicked in, the dentist appointment is coming up.

If I was really honest with myself, how much of my grumbling or complaining stems from my own lack of trust?

And even when I don't complain, how often do I turn to the Lord in prayer? Or how often do I pout?

"Lord, I'm shocked and saddened by my own lack of trust in you. I'm marked with complaining over the little things, grumbling over the big things, and lost in my own disbelief. Forgive me of my independence. Heal me of my insecurities. May I walk in the knowledge that you... "cause(s) all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28). Heal me first that I may model health, belief, and "silent trust" for my children."

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