Shepherding a Child's Heart: Chp 6

Every Monday and Friday join us for reading "Shepherding a Child's Heart."  I'll post a brief synopsis of the chapter with a few highlights, as well as a few of my personal thoughts.  At the end of the comments, there will be 2-3 questions for discussion as well.  So join us in our journey toward becoming the mommies that God has called us to be.

Chapter 6: Reworking your Goals

In this chapter, Tripp revisits the unbliblical goals discussed in the last chapter "in light of the chief end of man- to glorify God..." pg 51.  Here they are again:

• Developing Special Skills- Tripp says this, "A biblical world view dictates that you should teach your children to exercise and care for their bodies as an expression of stewardship for God's gifts.  Abilities should be developed because God has given the stewardships of tents and special capacities" pg 52.  My thought is ... can this be done in sports, etc?  Tripp goes on to state that children should focus on skills that will open doors in ministry.  Again, could this not be accomplished through working with others in organized sports, classes, or activities?
• Psychological Adjustment- Tripp states that, "In a biblical vision, you should instruct your children to entrust themselves to God in the face of unfair treatment" pg 53.  How can this be accomplished practically in middle school in the face of bullying?  How do we entrust our children in a fallen world?
• Saved Children- Tripp finds that this goal "misses the spiritual process of nurturing your children" and "what your children need is spiritual nurture" pg 54.  I have to agree that following God is more about discipleship than saying the sinner's prayer.  If it was all about a one-time prayer, then why would we need repentance?
• Family Worship- Tripp says, "The end is knowing God.  A means to employ in reaching that end is family worship" pg 55.  He believes that the focus should be a closer relationship with our Lord, not gathering for worship every day.  While that is a great tool, it is not the goal.
• Well-behaved Children- Tripp again finds that "manners are an expression and application of the duty of loving my neighbor as myself" pg 56.  So yes, manners are important, but not the ultimate goal in itself. 
• Good Education- Tripp states that, "What is important is that your child learn to do his work diligently for God" pg 57.  

All this to say, I'm torn by this chapter.  While I know that Tripp is searching for the ultimate goal, I find that he throws out perfectly innocent "goals" for our children in an attempt to make his point.  Specifically in the area of special skills, I believe there is nothing wrong with encouraging our children to develop skills and talents, as long as those skills and talents don't become gods to our children.  I don't want to present the idea to my children that this is the ultimate goal, but not that it's bad either.  Or am I just too caught up in my own unbiblical goals?  What do you think?

Whatever my disagreement with Tripp at this time, I was delighted to read the following statement at the end of the chapter, "life is found in knowing and serving the true and living God."  Is that how we are shepherding our children?

Questions for discussion: 

"These questions are the same ones that we thought about at the end of chapter 5. How has your understanding of these issues been changed by the Word of God?" pg 59

1. How do you define success?  How would your child finish this sentence... "What Mom and Dad want for me is..."

2. You are pushed and pulled by the things listed under unbiblical goals.  Which of these unbiblical goals influences your parenting the most adversely?

3. Remember, you are a shaping influence for your children.  What makes you tick?  What would you say drives you day by day?  What do you fear, love, feel anxious about?  What are the values taught in your home?

9. Are the spoken and unspoken rules of your family life consistent with true spirituality--living for the glory of God?

Easy Ways to Invest in Your Marriage

We all know that we need to invest in our marriages. However, between changing diapers and getting dinner on the table, we often forget to put TIME into our relationship with our spouse. I'm not suggesting that we try to be SUPERMOM. But with a little change in perspective, maybe we can find that time to have a little bit more romance in our lives. Here are just a few ideas to get you thinking:

• Take a walk around the neighborhood- Load the kids in the strollers and get out for some fresh air. Be sure to pack some toys and snacks to keep the kids busy. Put aside the frustrations of the day and just concentrate on each other.
  
• Walk to the mail together- Sure it's just a few minutes, but it's your time. Let the kids play together for a few minutes and groan over the crazy ads vying for your money.
  
• Walk to the laundry together- Whether you live in an apartment or the laundry room is in the basement, it's a few moments for just the two of you to be together. Take a minute to hold hands or ask about each other's day.
  
• Rent a movie from the library- Pick up something romantic. Sure your husband may complain, but he won't mind and it will give you come great cuddle time.
  
• Share a Mocha or dessert- Swap babysitting with a neighbor and go out for a quick treat. Going out doesn't have to mean a meal. It can be something as simple as a single dessert with two forks.
  
• Take a bike ride- Riding a bike will make you feel like a kid again. Take some time to enjoy those carefree moments and laugh together.
  
• Play at the park- Run, slide, swing... with or without the kids... Getting outside and doing something together is a great way to build a new memory that will get you through those rough days of being "Mommy" and "Daddy."
  
• Do a couples Bible study- One of the best ways to grow together is by seeking God together. Find a group with a variety of married couples in different stages of life to learn more strategies for growing a healthy marriage.
  
• Find a park with a free tennis court, rollerblading rink, soccer field, etc- Again, build a memory together. So what if you can't stay upright on a pair of skates? Learn together. And don't forget to laugh.
  
• Go to a free music performance at a local college- Our local college allows anyone to come "sit-in" on orchestra practice. With kids, the added bonus is exposing them to new music. Without kids, the bonus is some time to sit hand in hand.
  
• Have a family game night- Break out the board games and break into teams. You and your partner just might learn something new about each other. Like who is more conservative at Monopoly or who is more competitive at Rummy.
  
• Garden together- Grow something that will make you smile every time you look at it. Passing that rose bush in your driveway will remind you every time of your spouse.
  
• Wash the car- Sure it has to be done, but it doesn't have to be a chore. Spend an evening washing the car while the kids play in the sprinkler. But keep a careful eye on who has the hose. You just might get wet as well.

Playing with Baby--Birth to 6 months

Here are just a few things you or your spouse can do to bond with baby in the first 6 months:

1. Cuddle, coo, kiss and hold- Every time you cuddle or hold your baby, you are helping your child build brain cells and become more secure with the world around them.
2. Mirrors- babies love to look at themselves.  This activity will provide entertainment and education about faces and body structure, as well as an increased understanding of depth perception.
3. Play a musical instrument for your child- Expose him/her to the beautiful sounds of live music as well as a variety of CD's.  Again you're building brain cells with minimal effort.
4. Borrow or buy a swing, walker, exersaucer, play gym etc.- The variety of colors, shapes and textures will help baby learn about their world and practice eye/hand coordination while reaching for things.
5. Play Patty cake, Peekaboo, This Little Piggy and other hand movement games- These activities increase eye/hand coordination and build better bonding with eye contact.
6. Talk to your child while changing and dressing them- Explain what you are doing to build your relationship and expand their vocabulary.
7. Play in  the bath- Encourage splashing and talk about the feeling of the water.
8. Show them how to "push up"- Get on the floor with your child and show him/her how to push up on their hands.  They will enjoy watching you in a new environment.
9. Massage your child- Using baby oil or Johnson's lavender baby lotion, massage your child to relax them before bedtime.  For a how to visit this link.
10. Rock your baby- There are few things more relaxing for mommy and child.  However, do not rock your child fully to sleep.  Lay him/her down before fully asleep so to soothe themselves.
11. Go for a walk- Explore your neighborhood, talking to your child about the sights and sounds around you.
12. Use a baby carrier to take your child with you throughout the day- Place child in carrier for trips around the playground or while doing household chores.  Talk to baby about what you are doing and use the time to bond with your child.
13. Read to them alone or with a sibling- Babies can learn alot by hearing you read.  Their vocabulary will increase and they will enjoy the bright colors and characters of the books.  Be sure to include a variety from simple board books to some books "over their heads:" Dr. Suess, etc.
14. Play with sibling- Engage both of your children on the floor, playing puzzles, etc.  Your baby will learn a lot from how you and your other children interact.
15. Lay baby under a play gym- Hang a variety of colorful toys and items to stimulate baby.  Talk about texture, color, numbers, and if you have animals, talk about the sounds that animals make.
16. Sit ups and push ups with baby- Lay on the floor with baby on your lap.  Do sit ups, greeting your baby every time you come up from the floor.  Or lay baby on floor and give him/her a kiss every time you come down for a push up.
17. Talk with your baby about everything- Make everything a learning experience from the kitty walking into the room to shopping for groceries.  Talk about saying "Thank you" to the clerk and the rising cost of groceries.  
18. Play worship music- Babies love music and playing worship music throughout the day is a great way to bond with your baby while teaching them about God.
19. Create opportunities for your child to play with other babies of a similar age- seek out baby that are similar in age for them to communicate on their baby level.
20. Join a mom's group- Some mom's groups will incorporate Mommy and Baby activities that create opportunities for bonding.
21. Help your child play with a variety of textured items- Find things in your home that are rough, soft, hard, squishy, rubbery, smooth, etc.  This will give your baby a chance to learn about his/her environment and expand their vocabulary.
22. Incorporate tummy time in your day- Lay baby on tummy beginning for 5 minutes at a time.  This will strengthen back and neck muscle as well as develop brain cells and depth perception.
23. Blow on your baby's belly- This is a fun activity that using listening, touch, and eye contact and really allows you and your child to bond.
24. Allow your baby to explore your face- Encourage your child to touch your eyes, ears, glasses, nose, hair, etc.  Talk about color and texture and don't forget to talk about being gentle.
25. Move your child from room to room with you- While you're doing housework, move your child with you.  If you're doing dishes, move the baby in the kitchen with you.  If you're cleaning a bedroom, lay the baby on the bed and continue talking with him/her.
26. Utilize a bouncer- These are great for tip #25.  They are funny for the baby to bounce in and provide great face to face contact as they can sit baby up to "talk" to you.
27. Break out the pots, pans, and wooden spoons- Encourage baby to make music with you, exploring eye/ hand coordination.
28. Sing to your child- Singing to your baby is a great way for them to develop trust, hear language, learn, and expand their vocabulary.
29. Swim with your baby- Movement in the water is a great experience for your child.  Find a local pool and spend some time playing with your child in a weight-less environment.  It will allow them to move their bodies in a way that's not possible at home.
30. Take a Mommy and Me class together- Many classes will teach you a variety of techniques for working with your child.  From finger play songs to massage techniques, you will learn more from other moms and the instructor than you can ever learn from a blog or a book.  It will also allow you and your child to have an experience on which to expand your growing relationship.

These are a few ideas that Work for Me.

Teaching Tuesday

Here are a few ideas to entertain you and your child today:

Letter Rubbings

Materials:

3 in letters (or numbers) cut from sand paper (or other textured elements)

Paper to rub on

Crayons

Scissors

1. Cut letters, shapes, numbers out of textured paper.
2. Put the shapes under the printer paper.
3. Let child rub over the letter and see what appears.
4. Talk about letters, numbers, shapes, colors (of crayons), etc.
5. Encourage variety.  What happens when you make two triangles?  A diamond?  A star of David?  What if we only rub part of a rectangle?  There's a square?  Where is the first letter of your child's name?  Can he/she print the whole name?

Alphabet Scrapbook

Materials:

Old scrapbook or photo album

Letters A-Z cut from textured or colored paper

Magazines for cutting

Scissors

Digital Camera (optional)

Crayons, markers, glitter, etc. (optional)

1. Cut out each letter of the alphabet, from A-Z.
2. Adhere one letter to each page. 
3. With your child, search through magazines for items that start with each letter.  This can vary depending on your child's age.  My child is 2 years old and seeing a cat calling it "Kitty."  So we label it "Kitty" and put it under K.  
4. Cut out pictures and adhere to the various pages.  You may want to take your time and go through letter by letter.  This can be done with an alphabet coloring sheet or lesson.  Focus on each letter for several days.
5. Finished result is a beautiful book that you can use to explore the alphabet with your child.  And they have by-in to practicing their letters since they were able to help make the book. 

Stocking the Pantry--Baby Food Part 3

So we've made mangoes, carrots, avocados, and squash. Ready for the next step??? Painless, I promise.

Bananas-- Pick up a few up at the store and mash them with formula or breast milk to the consistency you desire. These are a great first food beyond baby cereal. They can be frozen in cubes as the other foods we've made. They will turn brown, but the nutrition and flavor will not be compromised.

Applesauce-- Just buy a large container of natural applesauce. No sugar added. Skip the flavors and sugar as the baby won't miss them and we don't need them.

If you want to make your own, you can search the web for a variety of homemade recipes. We made some last year and we are quickly running low as the entire family eats it.

Peas- You would think this one is hard, but I have a trick for you. Make them with split peas and you won't have to worry about the skins. Here's how you do it:

1. Soak a bowl full of split peas overnight. Some will claim that they don't need to be soaked, but I've never had a good experience without first soaking my peas.
2. Rinse the next morning and pour peas into crockpot. Cover with fresh water.
3. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. DO NOT SEASON. Your baby will not miss the seasoning.
4. Check throughout the day and make sure the peas are covered in water.
5. When done the peas should not taste "green." If they do, they need to cook longer.
6. Allow peas to cool and blend, adding formula or breast milk until reaching the texture and consistency you desire.
7. Freeze in cubes for servings.

After you have tried both carrots and peas with your child, and he/she has not had an allergic reaction, you can cook them together in the crockpot, cutting down on your prep time and providing a combo meal.

This is what I'm tackling today.