In today's world, there is overwhelming pressure on kids. Get good grades, be good at sports, be popular, serve, and do it all with grace and manners. And with that perspective comes unbelievable amounts of pressure on parents as well. If your child is earning B's, hire a tutor. Not playing in the travel league? Get a private coach. Not enough friends, throw big parties. And what if you're not doing enough to ensure your children follow the Lord when they leave your home?
While all of this is good and well, they are just kids. They're growing and maturing. They're going to mess up. We're going to mess up. None of us are perfect. How do we come to grips with the fact that we just aren't enough as parents? How do we live the perception of always coming up short?
Brooke McGlothlin tackles this idea of being enough in her new book, Gospel Centered Mom. She asserts that we aren't enough, that we were never meant to be enough. That the only one who is enough for our kids is the one who gave them to us. She encourages her readers that gospel centered parenting is more about leaning on Jesus than developing the picture perfect family life. And that by rearranging our perspective of parenting, we're actually doing more for our kids than trying to live in a Pinterest perfect world.
My favorite chapter of this book revolved around the idea of fighting for, rather than against your children. I have one of those "hard to handle boys" as McGlothlin would call him. Constantly pushing boundaries and living life on his own terms. How I approach him in our day to day interactions makes a great difference in our day goes. Learning to fight for him without alienating him has been a challenge. This was by far the most valuable chapter of the book as it gave me some very actionable steps in our struggle: Tell God He Can Have You, Learn When to Keep your Mouth Shut, Get inn the Habit of Prayer, Embrace the Power of the Mommy Time-Out, Prepare Ahead of Time, Be Stronger, Love Harder, Be a Student of your Child, Think Outside the Box, and Refuse to Give Up. This was by far the most applicable chapter to my current situation.
On one hand, this book really spoke to me in that this parenting thing is really more about me than it is about my kids. I really have so little to offer these kids in my finite experience and knowledge. I can give them so little in comparison to to what they deserve. And really that's McGlothlin's point. We will never be enough for our kids. On the other hand, I struggled with this book because it felt like there was so little hope. In McGlothlin's focus on our inadequacy, the Lord's provision seemed to fizzle in comparison. This book was so heavy on the not enough side, our hope in the Lord seemed to get lost. I liked the book, but felt it could use some balance. While I think this would make a good read for most parents, I would warn that you need a healthy dose of joy and perspective as well. Ultimately, our hope, in all things, is in the Lord.
*Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher. All opinions are my own.
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